To practice bondage, you need some kind of physical restraint so that you can dominate or be dominated by your partner. Of course, there are many different types of restraints to choose from—you’re really limited only by your own imagination—but perhaps the most classic bondage fetish of all is rope bondage.
Rope play is one of the oldest types of bondage, and its appeal has proved timeless. Some of the earliest depictions of erotic rope bondage we have come from Japan, where a 17th century style of non-sexual domination and torture (think prisoners of war) called hojojutsu developed into a truly elegant erotic art form known as kinbaku by the early 20th century. Today, it’s enjoying a new boost in popularity thanks to Fifty Shades of Grey. In fact, right after the initial release of the book, hardware stores all over New York City reported a significant upswing in sales of soft cotton rope, and many bondage-specific websites and online stores saw huge increases in visitor traffic.
In practice, rope bondage is a step up from fuzzy handcuffs in difficulty, and it opens up an astoundingly large spectrum of opportunities for creative play. There are literally thousands of different knots to learn, but with only a few basic ones in your repertoire, you can enjoy a lifetime of kinky fun, using different tying techniques to stimulate erogenous zones and release a flood of all the brain’s feel-good hormones, including endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin.
If the idea of being tied up or tying your partner down for some hot, powerful fetish fun, then allow me to introduce you to Lord Morpheous—columnist, activist, consultant, author, and (most importantly for you) rope play expert. He’s the author of three books about bondage basics, but now he’s back with a book, titled How to be Knotty, for the more experienced players in the BDSM community who are curious about the particular fetish of rope bondage.
When I talked with Lord Morpheous about the inspiration for this new book, he explained that many of the best BDSM guidebooks only focus on newcomers, meaning that the content stays pretty light. How to Be Knotty skips past all of the introductory content and jumps straight into practical, hands-on, utterly kinky techniques for people who already have some experience in bondage and want take their erotic fantasies even further. So, if you’ve been experimenting with your partner with bondage since Fifty Shades and the BDSM boom, or if you’re a rope geek because of another hobby like rock climbing or sailing, then this book can help you raise the bar (and possibly your partner) in the bedroom.
I recently had the privilege of sitting down with Lord Morpheous to talk about his work and his book, and I want to share a few parts of our conversation with you. I’m sure you’ll enjoy these personal insights into this master of rope bondage as much as I did.
How did you first get started in the world of BDSM/fetishes?
A lot of people come to BDSM later in life, but I was lucky enough to meet some Kinksters early on with whom I was able to explore what it meant to be kinky, and what the BDSM community should really be. Of course, your learning curve never really ends when it comes to these things, and with every play partner you have, you experience something in a new way or learn something more about yourself. I’m incredibly lucky now to have my brilliant wife, who is just as filthy as I am, but makes me see things in a whole new way.
For people who are new to BDSM, rope bondage may seem intimidating or scary. What advice do you have for beginners?
Communication is everything. It’s often not clear until you’ve been tied for the first time and experienced it firsthand, but there’s an incredibly intense, erotic, caring connection between rigger and bunny (the person being tied), and it’s this connection that should be at the forefront of any rope play session. It’s what lets you know how your partner is feeling at one any time, and it’s what will really guide how the session goes.
When people read How to Be Knotty for the first time, what new understanding or ideas do you hope they’ll take away from the book?
This book has a strong focus on my own personal modern bondage fusion style, which takes the best of the Eastern and Western styles with an additional artistic (and practical!) flourish. I hope that readers will be able to be inspired by this, as well as learning a few new, more intermediate building blocks that will allow them to go above and beyond the basics that they already know. I essentially want to empower people to go as far as they want to with bondage for sex and bondage for art, and I hope this book achieves that!
With good communication, a little curiosity, How to Be Knotty on your nightstand, and a few minutes learning some basic knots, you and your partner can start to explore the sexy, creative, and powerful experience of rope bondage together.
Sandra LaMorgese PhD is an expert in personal and professional reinvention, authentic living, communication, and bridging the gap between sexuality and a lifestyle that focuses on holistic health of the mind, body and spirit. She is the CEO of Attainment Studios, a sex positive business directory website designed to bring together members of the sex-positive community, and for finding solutions for your professional and personal needs. Her recent book Switch: Time for a Change, is a memoir of her journey from holistic practitioner to professional dominatrix at 55-years-old after losing everything, and her passion and purpose is to empower others towards healthy authentic living. To learn more about Sandra and receive your FREE eBook “5 Steps for Better Communication, Sex, and Happiness (Did I mention better sex?) visit http://sandralamorgese.com/